Deciding whether your relationship is over can be difficult. You may be holding on to memories of when the marriage was enjoyable, hoping that the relationship will return to happier times. You may be staying together for the benefit of your children, although this may not, in fact, be in their best interests if the relationship is an unhappy or even violent one.

You may not be able to see the cause of the problems from inside the relationship or you might even choose to ignore the signs. The fear of change and disruption to everyone’s life, may also be a factor in not facing up to the problems you are both experiencing.

Before seeking legal advice for divorce, one-to-one counseling might be useful as a way of exploring your feelings and hopes for the future. Having somebody explain objectively what is “normal” and help you to assess your options, should assist in sorting out problems within your family and helping to salvage your relationship, if it is worth saving.

It is sometimes possible to work out ways of containing the problems or reducing the conflict so that you can get on with your lives.

Generally, one person decides to end a relationship – the decision is rarely mutual. Nonetheless, the decision affects both partners, their children, their extended family and their friends. It is a decision that will likely have implications for years to come.

The personal and emotional process is separate from the legal process. Even without the complicated legal and financial issues, the upheaval for everybody in the family is very difficult.

You should consider the following:

• Don’t rush into the decision. It is not something to be decided in the heat of an argument.
• If you have decided to end your marriage, discuss this decision with friends or those who offer professional advice on divorce before making it final. Seeking legal advice on divorce and the issues relating to divorce at this stage, will help you better understand what lies ahead.
• Think carefully about what your new life will be like as a single person or as a single parent. Most people take a drop in their standard of living and divorce brings problems of its own.

If your decision is final, consider carefully how you are going to communicate this to your husband or wife and how to tell your children.

At the point of separation when you've made the decision to divorce, the family home can be an emotionally charged environment. You might want to leave the family home or you might want your partner to leave the family home.

You should consider the following:

• Do you or your partner have an alternative place to go, somewhere that meets your needs, as well as, your children’s needs?  Can you afford to rent elsewhere?  If so, then moving out may be relatively straightforward.
• What is in the best interest for your children?  If possible, you should aim for as little upheaval as possible – so that the children can remain close to their school, their friends and their childcare. Being close to your support network and to your workplace, will also be important.
• Safety: If you are in an abusive relationship, your safety and your children’s safety, should be your paramount concern. It is possible to apply to a divorce court for an occupation order, which is an order excluding your partner from the house. Should you consider this step necessary, specialist divorce legal advice is crucial.
• What are your intentions?  Do you want to keep the family home in the future?  Who lives in the home is often a major issue and although moving out will not stop you having the home as part of your divorce financial settlement, it may well make things more difficult in negotiations or in court proceedings.

Your finances may form a significant part of any decision making process and decisions regarding your family home, can affect the divorce settlement. Our attorneys provide their client's with options, when dealing with the family home, as well as other matters.

When you have just separated, things are likely to be at their most stressful.  Your energy levels will be low and the distress you are going through, may make it difficult for you to encourage your child’s relationship with the other parent.

It is better not to take on too many issues, particularly financial and legal ones, unless you really have to. Sometimes it is best simply to let matters lie, as the dust settles. It is usually best to keep the financial arrangements exactly as they are and maintain the status quo – if that is possible.

For further advice and helping you understand your rights and options in family law matters, visit the Family Law Resources page, on our website.

Pre-Nuptial Agreements (or "Pre-Nups"), clarify in the best of times what should happen, in the worst of times. Sadly, this is often needed as nearly half of marriages break down.  With the increasing numbers of divorces these days, Pre-Nuptial Agreements have emerged, as an option to try to protect the separate property of either or both spouses at the end of their marriage.

For families who wish to protect their wealth, Pre-Nuptial Agreements have become a necessity, before entering into a marriage.  A key component of Pre-Nuptial Agreements, is recording what assets are brought into the marriage and their values. These assets are then known as “non-matrimonial assets”, so they are treated differently by the courts.

Pre-Nuptial Agreements (or "Pre-Nups"), clarify in the best of times what should happen, in the worst of times. Sadly, this is often needed as nearly half of marriages break down.  With the increasing numbers of divorces these days, Pre-Nuptial Agreements have emerged, as an option to try to protect the separate property of either or both spouses at the end of their marriage.

A Post-Nuptial Agreement, is a contract that is drawn up after marriage or a couple have formed a civil partnership. The agreement provides details on how the couple’s assets and property would be split, in the event of the couple divorcing, separating or upon death.

A Post-Nuptial Agreement is similar to a Pre-Nuptial Agreement, except that it is made after the marriage or civil partnership has taken place.